By NANCY JANE KERN
ABOUT THIRTY-FIVE years ago we were hard at work in our labs in Schenectady when all the generators kicked in and we knew there was a power outage. This went on for hours until we had word that a gray squirrel was “fried” in our nearby power station, knocking out power for thousands of customers at a cost of untold thousands of dollars.
No one had a word of sympathy for the poor squirrel which had probably been doing just what squirrels do, scampering along wires and looking for food and shelter in man’s domain.
On our farm our Sheltie dog had an ongoing war to keep them off the porch. We could hear her frenzied “squirrel bark” and would see her in hot pursuit of the blurred gray fur she never caught. Talk about frustration. Our frustration was how they managed to eat so much bird seed. The sunflower seed was kept in a wooden barrel with a tight lid. One day we moved it out from the porch wall and discovered a neat and quite large hole near the bottom that had been gnawed through to gain access to the seed.
We perfected some good squirrel curses @#$%!! We got a metal can, let the dog do her best, and she had abundant exercise. Now I do not have a dog, and sunflower seed prices seem astronomical. We have looked at many “squirrel-proof” feeders and tried some without much success. A trip to a Bird Store offered a nice variety of new bird feeders. Looking online is not the same as having an item in hand to examine, and a knowledgeable salesperson to help. The question was, was there a really, truly, and easy way to stop the little varmints. There was a definite yes and a display labeled “squirrel-proof.” Some were tube feeders enclosed in heavy vinyl coated wire. The problem was the openings in the wire were too small for Cardinals and larger birds to get in. The most expensive tube feeder was a battery operated “twirl a squirrel” type that had a bottom unit that was activated by a squirrel’s weight. The bottom would spin and fling the squirrel off until the squirrel decided this was not a fun activity. This feeder would be very, very entertaining, but the cost was prohibitive.
The one most highly recommended by the store was a Canadian tube feeder called the Squirrel Buster. The bottom had a weight adjustable mechanism that slid down and covered the seed ports when a squirrel or heavy bird sat on the perches, and would pay for itself in one season. It also had a lifetime guarantee and could go in the dishwasher. The only damage not covered is a bear chewing it into pieces. That was it, and home it went. It works, it works! I haven’t had so much fun in years! They can’t chew it, unscrew it, dump it, grip it, and eventually they fall off! It is sweet revenge and the squirrels can go eat the cheap corn!