Columbia Memorial Health (1) Careers

Whittling Away: The battle against bottle tops

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By Dick Brooks

For Capital Region Independent Media

Headshot of a man named Dick Brooks.

I’m going out to my shop this morning and put together a toolbox to keep in the kitchen. 

The time has come to get serious about my battle against protective coatings and wrappings. The older I get the more personal the struggle gets. My grip isn’t what it used to be so I finally see that I need the help of more heavy duty weapons to face the daily battle of trying to get to objects that I need on a regular basis to sustain life. 

I have a small toolbox that should work well. I’m going to include a pair of pliers for bottle tops since those little pieces of plastic that need to be broken before the cap can be removed seem to be stronger than they were years ago. 

I better include a pair of channel lock pliers that open much wider than regular pliers too for things like the lids on pickle and spaghetti sauce jars. A sheetrock knife, the one that the razor blade slides in and out of, would be handy for the plastic coverings they put on the top of the Styrofoam trays they pack hamburger in. 

I need to include a good strong pair of scissors for snipping potato chip bags open. I definitely need a pair of tin snips; I’m remembering back a few weeks to the staple gun I purchased that came sealed in a bulletproof coating of really heavy duty plastic that had required almost every tool available on my trusty Swiss army knife before freeing the imprisoned tool. 

I definitely need to include some needle-nosed pliers for all those bottles of liquid stuff that have that little seal that appears when you take the cap off.  They have these teeny little tabs that I can’t get a good grip on that need to be removed before you can get to the contents. They would also be handy for those cardboard boxes with the pull tabs that I can never get to pull all the way across before they break and when you finally get them open, there’s usually a wax paper bag inside that also has to be opened. 

A hacksaw might be handy for hacking the top of any box or can that is stubborn. I’m going to include a hammer, too. I can’t think of anything in particular I might need it for but it would be a good stress reliever. Bashing something that won’t open may not be good for the object in question but it’s good for the soul.

It would be used mainly in my case on child-proof tops on pill containers. There isn’t a child within a mile of our house. Our granddaughter is 24 and lives in Texas. I can’t remember the last real genuine child who visited us and yet every day the pills I have to take are locked in these plastic versions of Fort Knox. I’m not good at multi-tasking—push down and turn just doesn’t work well. I know I could get them in non-childproof bottles but by the time I get them open every morning, my blood pressure is up, my adrenalin is pumping and I’m ready to face the day. 

I’ve got an old nutcracker in the shop, think I’ll include that in my tool collection for help with the pill bottles. 

I’m going to need a bigger toolbox.

Thought for the week — “Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Until next week, may you and yours be happy and well.

Reach columnist Dick Brooks at Whittle12124@yahoo.com.

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