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Positively Speaking: When one door closes…

Headshot of man named Toby Moore
Toby Moore

By Toby Moore

For Capital Region Independent Media

The adage “When one door closes, another opens” often rolls off the tongue so easily it risks becoming trite. Yet, in the ever-shifting landscapes of my life, I’ve discovered a kernel of truth in this old saying.

However, the real challenge isn’t merely believing a new door will open but finding the clarity and courage to walk through it.

As Alexander Graham Bell astutely observed, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

How true it is: We’re so consumed with what’s lost that we become blind to what’s found.

When the ground of life suddenly gives way beneath you, it’s a disorienting and devastating experience. Partnerships crumble, friendships fade, relationships can break, and what was once a collective journey becomes a solo endeavor. It’s tough not to meditate on the closed door.

You find yourself standing alone, without that familiar, supportive presence by your side. Your internal compass feels off, and you’re overwhelmed by “what-ifs.”

Your thoughts become your enemies. “Can I even do this alone? What if I fail? What if this decision is the one that brings everything crashing down?” With each crippling thought, your resolve weakens, your dream crumbles, and your footing slips.

The suddenness of these life changes can leave you emotionally floored, catching you off guard just when you thought you were safe. It’s jarring, especially when you believed you were protected by the familiar and the trustworthy.

It’s easy to feel your world unravel just because someone left you or no longer believes in you. These moments can cause disorientation and be paralyzing. This is when you must force yourself to stop looking at the closed door and begin looking for the newly opened door.

How fragile belief can be — how easily it can disintegrate, like a sandcastle facing the tide. It’s uncanny how the conviction you’ve had for years can waver in the face of a singular moment of rejection.

Life is built on seasons with unique characteristics, each leading naturally to the next. When it feels like you’ve reached the end, remember it’s not an end but a shift into a different season.

The key to surviving these seasons is to let go of the need to control every aspect of the journey. Acceptance, as bitter a pill as it may be to swallow, is liberating. The lighter you hold onto life, the easier it is to move through it.

Be steadfast in your dreams but flexible in your approach.

The landscape of your life is constantly changing, and so are you. You’re adapting and evolving. You’re growing in ways you never thought was possible. I’ve found that every ending in my life has propelled me into a phase of intense personal and spiritual growth. It’s like fate’s saying, “You’re ready for the next level.”

So, if someone walks out of your life, trust that their departure clears space for something — or someone — else, something that aligns more closely with who you are becoming rather than who you were.

It’s hard. I won’t pretend it’s not. But the person you’ll be on the other side of this struggle? That person is worth every painful step, every tear shed, and every moment of doubt. In the grand scheme of things, this is but a season.

You’re not just getting through these challenges; they’re forging you into a stronger person. Think of it like a fire that tempers steel. Each struggle is like the heat that makes you more resilient. You may still be a work in progress but have faith: the result is worth the effort.

In facing life’s uncertainties and hardships, remember that change is not always a loss; it’s a transition. Don’t let regret or fear keep you staring at the door that has closed behind you. Summon the courage to look ahead and step forward because another door has already opened. Your task is to find it and walk through it.

Toby Moore is a columnist, the star of Emmy-nominated “A Separate Peace,” and the CEO of Cubestream Inc.

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