By Toby Moore
For Capital Region Independent Media
It’s easy to hide from the issues of life.
Most of us have done it. I know I was hiding from things in my life that I should have faced years ago. Unfortunately, some people spend their whole life hiding from something that they eventually will have to face one way or the other.
Some are hiding from a broken relationship, refusing to ask for forgiveness and fixing what went wrong, holding onto the pain and the negativity.
It’s easy to hide from addictions, knowing it’s time to quit but putting it off.
Some are hiding from paying off their debt, finishing their education or getting back in shape.
Maybe you’ve been hiding from opportunities. I knew someone who had a great job interview lined up that could have taken their career to the next level. They drove to the meeting location, but they were too nervous to follow through, and they turned around and drove home instead.
Many people hide from that small voice inside, telling them to follow their dream and fulfill their destiny. They feel like they’re supposed to be doing extraordinary things, but the thoughts tell them it’s not worth the trouble, so they stay where they are.
It is normal to want to avoid the things we fear, but the problem with sweeping things under the rug is that it doesn’t make them go away. Hiding can make our anxiety disappear for a little bit, but eventually, we pay the price.
Some knew they should have quit smoking 20 years ago, and now they’re learning to cope with a difficult medical diagnosis. Some knew they needed to deal with anger issues at the beginning of their relationship, but now the divorce papers are served. Some knew they should have taken the chance and started the business, but now they’re unhappy and feel like they missed their chance.
It’s easy to make excuses: “I’ve always been angry — that’s just how I am,” “I’ve always been critical — I can’t change that,” “I’ve always been lazy — it’s just how I was born,” “I’ve always been prideful — it runs in my family,” “I’ve always had this addiction, and I always will!”
Don’t make excuses for yourself. If you want to get to the next level, you will have to deal with the things keeping you from your potential.
It seems easier to hide because what we need to face requires work. Hiding makes us feel like perhaps we aren’t responsible for what happens; we fool ourselves into thinking we don’t have the power to face our demons; thinking we need something or someone to make it happen. It’s an illusion; it’s always better to fix a problematic situation before it’s too late. Hiding and looking the other way seems easy, but is it worth the consequences?
Coming out of hiding doesn’t have to happen all at once. You can test the waters; facing your fears can be done gradually. One step at a time, you can repeatedly go into uncomfortable situations, little by little, until you feel less anxious. Work your way up to facing things that cause you distress. Over time, you can build up your confidence and eventually conquer what’s holding you down.
Whatever you do, keep moving forward or you may find yourself waiting for a change that will not come on its own.
Whatever you decide, it’s crucial to realize you’ll never become who you want to be by hiding from what you know you need to do.
Face your fears, conquer your demons, confront your insecurity, don’t be afraid to say you’re sorry, don’t be afraid to forgive, and don’t be scared to fail. Be willing to be uncomfortable and face the unknown.
Like the proverb says, “If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again!”
If you do, breakthroughs will come, and you’ll find that you’re a happier, more fulfilled person. It may be challenging, but I believe in you, and I know you’re capable of great things!
Toby Moore is a columnist, the star of Emmy-nominated “A Separate Peace,” and the CEO of Cubestream Inc.
