By Toby Moore
For Capital Region Independent Media
A close friend of mine shared a fascinating story about a lady in his family from China who lived to be over 110 years old.
Instantly, my mind raced to vivid images of Chinese herbs and exotic teas. I imagined her daily ritual, sipping on some mystical brew with life-extending herbs and ingredients known to heal and possibly reverse the effects of aging.
In my mind’s eye, she wasn’t just a consumer of magical herbs and teas; she was also a devout practitioner of Qi Gong, the revered Chinese yoga that is part martial art and part meditation.
This discipline focuses on cultivating and balancing Qi, the vital life force that the Chinese believe flows through all living things.
I imagined that each morning, as the first light of dawn brushed the earth, she must have been in the midst of nature, meditating and performing her routines, entirely at peace, in a deep state of harmony with the world.
After painting such a vivid picture, my curiosity couldn’t be contained. I had to know the secret behind her extraordinary longevity. So, I finally asked him, “What was her secret?” His response was both simple and astounding. With a smile, he relayed her words to me: “I always minded my own business.”
“I always minded my own business!” I burst out laughing, incredulous. “You have to be kidding me! She told you that?”
My disbelief hung in the air, mingled with amusement. But my friend, unfazed, nodded, his smile broadening as if to underscore the profound simplicity of her wisdom.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation for many years now. I never had a chance to talk to her, but what exactly did she mean when she said, “I always minded my own business?”
I’ve come to ponder the myriad ways one might interpret “minding one’s own business” and how these interpretations could contribute to a person’s mental and physical well-being.
Could it mean she consciously avoided gossip and idle chatter, recognizing the unnecessary stress conversations like this can breed? Maybe by focusing her energy away from the often-harmful exchanges that occupy our daily lives, she cultivated a serene mind, essential for mental clarity and physical health.
Or might she have practiced a non-judgmental approach toward others, acknowledging that each person’s path is unique? This attitude could have fostered a sense of peace and acceptance within her, significantly reducing her internal turmoil.
It’s also conceivable that “minding her own business” entailed a dedication to personal growth and self-improvement. She might have focused on her progress and well-being rather than comparing her journey to those around her.
Furthermore, by avoiding the entanglements of others’ affairs, she possibly protected herself from the emotional drain and distraction that come from being overly involved in the problems of others. This detachment, far from being cold, might have allowed her to offer support without becoming weighed down by the issues at hand.
Could this philosophy have also included an appreciation for the present moment, a mindful engagement with the here and now, rather than a preoccupation with the past or future? Such presence of mind is often linked to reduced anxiety and stress, key factors in maintaining health.
Perhaps, in minding her own business, she cultivated a space of privacy and respect, both for herself and for others, understanding the value of boundaries in nurturing healthy relationships and personal peace.
Speculating on these possibilities lead me to a fascinating realization: minding one’s own business, far from a passive withdrawal from the world, could be a profound strategy for engaging with life more fully.
Her philosophy suggests a life of intention, focusing on the essentials that bring joy and health, and respectfully distanced from the things that unnecessarily clutter our minds and hearts.
If we were to embrace her wisdom, we might find peace in simplicity, learning that the true secret to longevity lies not only in diet and exercise but also in the serenity of minding our business.
Toby Moore is a columnist, the star of Emmy-nominated “A Separate Peace,” and the CEO of Cubestream Inc.
