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Positively Speaking: A comedy of errors


By Toby Moore

Capital Region Independent Media

Headshot of man named Toby Moore
Toby Moore

Have you ever had one of those days where life seems to be plotting a comedy at your expense? Each step you take perfectly tees up the next LOL disaster.

Your morning starts with a misstep that takes you straight to the floor. Like a WWE body slam! A dramatic tumble out of bed that snaps you out of your slumber quicker than a whole pot of coffee. You grumble, “I can already tell this will be an awful day!”

Next, you’re playing a game of temperature roulette in the shower. One moment feels like an ice bath, and the next, you feel like a contestant on “Who Wants to Boil Alive?”

“Of course, this would happen to me,” you mutter, toweling off.

In the kitchen, as you reach for that saving grace – coffee – you find an unexpected gift from your pet cat: a strategically placed hairball, cold, slimy, squished to the bottom of your foot. Seriously? Even the cat’s against me today. What’s next? The dog launching a surprise slobber attack just as I sit down to eat?

With coffee in hand, victory seems near, but in a theatrical twist, your significant other bumps into you in a hurry, and the coffee goes all over your shirt.

“Oh, wonderful! I’m a walking, talking coffee stain!”

As you change for the second time, you think, “Really?”

Then, the morning’s chaos brigade gets reinforcements – your kids. Breakfast becomes a food-flinging fest, and your freshly ironed pants become a canvas for maple syrup handprints.

As you usher them out the door for the school bus, their parting gift is a backpack to the gut, a reminder that life’s comedy routine now includes slapstick.

“What’s next, a pie in the face as I walk out the door?”

As if on cue, backing out of the driveway turns into a demolition derby with a speeding car. Every moment screams out, “Remember this day!”

Each attempt to focus at work is thwarted by life’s little pranks – a jammed printer right when you need it most, a mischievous computer choosing the perfect moment to update, or an important call dropped at the crucial second. Every mishap becomes a chapter in today’s saga of complaints, a story you’re ready to share with anyone willing to listen.

Lunchtime is no reprieve.

That sandwich you so looked forward to? Somehow, it’s been squashed into an unrecognizable form, as if life decided to hug it tight. And just as you bite, a bird above decides to contribute its own “topping.” You can’t help but wonder, “Is life scripting a sitcom where I’m the unsuspecting star?”

The journey home could be smoother. Stuck in traffic, the heavens open up, unleashing a downpour that targets only your car. And just as you pull into your driveway, relieved that this comedy of errors is finally over, you step out into a muddy puddle. It is the perfect ending to a day, courtesy of life’s unrelenting humor.

As you sit on your couch, recounting the day’s events, you realize that each annoyance, each little disaster, was met with a sigh, a grumble, a lament of “why me?” It’s been a day fueled by complaints, a symphony of negativity.

And who could blame you after a day like that? Yet, in this whirlwind of chaos, there lie two choices: to perceive yourself as cursed or blessed.

Blessed, you say?

The bed you tumbled out of – yes, it was an ungraceful start, but it was a bed, your bed. A luxury that many can only dream of as they brave the harshness of the streets.

The breakfast food fight and the cat’s unwelcome gift on your foot? In that mess lies a profound blessing. Your house is filled with life!

Your car in the shop? Your insurance stepped in, offering a temporary replacement — a setback but not a derailment.

 Then there’s your job. Nothing went as planned, but guess what? You’re employed.

Blessed? Absolutely! Life, in all of its unpredictable glory, is a gift and a blessing.

Toby Moore is a columnist, the star of Emmy-nominated “A Separate Peace,” and the CEO of Cubestream Inc.

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