Girls’ soccer makes it six in a row

By Dick Brooks

For Capital Region Independent Media

It occurred to me the other day that there is an area of education that has blatantly been ignored. There is no training program for senior or about-to-be senior drivers! 

There are the driver education programs for beginning drivers, training programs for driving large trucks, schools for competitive drivers and trainings for high-speed driving for law enforcement, firefighters and emergency vehicles. Nowhere have I found any program dedicated to the vehicular instruction needs of our rapidly aging population.

As a lifelong educator and one who has mastered the art of senior driving, I hereby will attempt to fill this void. 

The first step is to forget all the rules of the road that you learned at 16 and have practiced through your driving career, they no longer apply. 

Speed limits lose their importance. You have more time now and there is little on the average senior’s daily schedule that necessitates hurrying. Most senior drivers don’t have to be at work on any set schedule and doctor appointments are very flexible since no matter how late you arrive, you know you’re going to have to wait anyway, so take your time. If you rush to your doctor’s appointment, you know it’s just going to raise your blood-pressure level.                                      

Practice planning your trips. It may take more time and involve driving a few miles more, but with care you can plan your trip to have a stop light at each intersection.

Stop signs do nothing but increase the level of road rage to be found in the drivers stuck behind you as you cautiously wait until the road is clear of oncoming traffic. Signal lights aren’t necessary if you’re going slow enough. A slow drift into the turning lane will signal your upcoming turn to those impatient drivers behind you. 

As you age, parallel parking is no longer the problem it used to be since you no longer do it. You learn to circle the block until you find a large parking space that you can pull right into with only three or four tries. 

Backing up also requires retraining, since your neck no longer works like it once did and your hearing isn’t what it should be. Practice shifting into reverse and backing slowly until you feel a bump or hear a crunch, then shift into drive and proceed forward.       

You need practice on vehicle identification. Remember that most modern cars look alike so finding your car in a parking lot becomes a problem. Frequently you will find that you have to enter two or three cars before you find the one the key you have will fit.

One solution to this problem is to put some kind of identifying marker on the car. A clever senior citizen bumper sticker will help, several ribbon magnets arranged artistically or a large flag of some sort make the job easier.

If you follow some of these hints, there is no reason that you can’t become a successful senior driver and continue driving past your hundredth birthday no matter what your kids or the Department of Motor Vehicles says.

Thought for the week — “The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.” ~ Dave Barry

Until next week, may you and yours be happy and well.

Reach columnist Dick Brooks at whittle12124@yahoo.com.

By Dick Brooks

For Capital Region Independent Media

As I slide down the slippery slope of “seniordumb,” I have noticed that as my physical activity level gradually decreases, my powers of observation are increasing. 

It may be the approach of my second childhood, which I am looking forward to.

I’m once again finding little things attract my attention more and more. I spent a very pleasant time one winter morning recently watching a chickadee. I admired his skill and hard work pulling seeds through the wire webbing on the hanging feeder until my canine friend Telly got done investigating the possibilities presented by a chipmunk’s disappearance into a drain pipe. 

Telly is interested in the little things also and often we have nice discussions about our observations. He doesn’t contribute much verbally but he’s a very good listener.

As we continued our morning stroll, Telly pointed out to me the number of highway signs in our area by lifting his leg on every one we passed. He quickly became dehydrated and we returned home. 

Later in the day, we boarded Casper the Friendly Kia and motored off on our appointed morning rounds. On the mile-and-a-half run into town, we counted 28 highway signs of one form or another. They told us how fast to go, when to stop, curves to watch out for, what number road we were on, which town we were entering — so much advice in so little space. Some sign poles had two or three signs on them.

Driving through town and still in sign mode, I noticed how many signs I’d been driving past for years without paying any conscious attention to them. Some signs were informative, but most were abrupt and rude. Maybe I’d discovered why our society seems to be less civil than in years past — Keep Out, No Trespassing, Posted—No Hunting or Fishing, or any other human activity allowed, No Parking At Any Time, Violators Will Be Towed Away at Owner’s Expense. The hair on the back of my neck started to rise — I don’t like being told what to do, ask me nicely and I can be talked into anything but don’t tell me what to do. 

I pulled Casper into a No Parking Zone and parked! We sat there for couple of minutes and kind of enjoyed being violators. Then, having our fill of naughtiness and hearing the approach of a vehicle that we were sure was a tow truck, we left. 

We could have been prevented from breaking the law if the sign had just been worded, Please Don’t Park Here — such a simple thing but it would have made a difference. 

Some signs started off nicely — Welcome to Our Park, Please Help to Keep It Clean — polite and reasonable, but then came No Dogs, Skateboards, Bicycles, Picnics, Fires or Walking on the Grass Allowed.  Might as well go walk in the woods, except most of them are posted. 

Having spent the morning in hard observation, Telly agreed we should go home for a snack. Our only problem was the large dump truck in front of us had a bright orange sign on the back that said, “Construction Vehicle — Do Not Follow.”

Thought for the week — Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain. And most do.

Until next week, may you and yours be happy and well.

Reach columnist Dick Brooks at Whittle12124@yahoo.com.