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Body, Mind & Spirit: A slice of humble pie

In Health & Wellness, Health & Wellness - Greenville
May 12, 2023
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By Pat Larsen

For Capital Region Independent Media

Headshot of a female named Pat Larsen
Pat Larsen

I knew a few months ago when I began my journey to find the best orthopedic specialist on this planet to undertake the task of a total knee replacement that this wasn’t going to be easy for the poor doctor that I tapped for the job.

After all, I thought I knew what this would involve and I had clear expectations about exactly how long this would take to heal before I could get back to my life. I had done that much research. I thought.

Four consultations and months later, I met “The One” who was a perfect match. As a matter of fact, the initial consultation was of a divine intervention of sorts when I was seen within a few days of the call to this office due to a cancellation. Perfect, I thought! 

I knew this collaboration had to include a solid body-mind connection between me and the specialist because that’s the only way my treatment would or could be successful. He was sharp, clear in his communication style, compassionate and a Baby Boomer who “got me,” with a lot of experience in his field.

This column isn’t about the surgery or the resulting impact that this actual surgery has had on my life. No. The healing time frame and actual process is as individual as the DNA  that makes up who we are. 

It’s about the  monumental personal journey that I hadn’t even realized would be such a huge part of the story. It’s about the emotional strength that is required AFTER the surgery and to a degree, before, in preparation. It’s about realizing no matter how much I researched, how “ready, set, let’s get this show on the road” (even the surgery date was just a miraculous five weeks after the consultation, due to yet another opening in the schedule), I had no idea how deep I’d have to dig within myself to get through every day.

But the truth is, I did push through even the roughest days and I’m still continuing to do so, building on that inner strength each time.

I’ve finally come to understand that as hard as these specialists try to give us an idea of what the days, weeks and months to come would entail, even they have no idea exactly what will happen. That’s the connection I failed to make beforehand.

I never considered the part that included my motivation and inner strength. The procedure wasn’t “over “’ when my knee joint was replaced. It had just begun.

My knee is as brand new as a baby chick just hatched from their protective shell and then the journey was to begin.

Finding “inner strength” mentally and physically is something we tend to do quite naturally over our lifetime every day.

Let’s face it, with today’s challenges at the forefront, it is often necessary to determine what part we engage in and what part to just let go and let God. How much energy will we choose to spend on something frustrating, like where the heck did I put those keys…or hey, “they overcharged me for those apples that are supposed to be on sale!” We choose what battle to engage in.

It’s kind of been the same for me regarding this expectation for recovery from a choice I made to have a total knee replacement.

I was given a booklet, kind of like the bible of pre and post stuff to do before and after this surgery.

I followed these checklists like my life was dependent on it. 

There is an interesting PAIN PYRAMID GUIDE highlighted to help with pain management after I returned home. Ha!

Threw that right out the window as soon as I realized I was highly allergic to the top drug to manage the worst of days. 

Here’s where I had to dig deep. With my pain barely managed and the only other thing available was the application of ice every 40 minutes, I knew I had to find a different means of coping to get through. Oh, I did get through, but this is where I found that we truly are only given as much as we can handle and sometimes expectations and energy have to shift to an inner faith and guidance from whatever belief system we trust to get through.

I do know this: The medical community does their best. Take your time when you can to find a good match, unless of course you’re faced with an emergency beyond your control.

Be sure you learn how to communicate with the care managers who support the doctor, who will navigate the steps with you as you find your way to healing. If you have a rough day, or you don’t get a phone call returned  as quickly as you’d have wanted, consider NOT putting your energy into finger pointing or being frustrated.

This is your journey. Reframe and refocus your expectations. Have a good friend to be able to share with when you just need that shoulder to cry on. And…trust that (as I did) “Tomorrow will be a better day.” It always was.

Pat Larsen lives in Greene County with her husband Chris and her pups. When she’s not laid up icing her new knee, she’s dreaming of getting back to her fitness classes and programs for Baby Boomers and seniors at The Shamrock House in East Durham. Classes will be returning ASAP. Pat is a certified clinical hypnotherapist working within the community to help others with expectations and living their best life. Contact Pat via email at Pelarsen5@aol.com.

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Headshot of man named Toby Moore

Positively Speaking: The power of ‘no’

In Health & Wellness, Health & Wellness - Ravena, The Ravena News Herald
August 31, 2023
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By Toby Moore

For Capital Region Independent Media

Headshot of man named Toby Moore
Toby Moore

I’m a people pleaser. I have a tough time saying no. If I tell someone no, I often feel I’m letting them down. I’ve learned the hard way that saying yes when I should’ve said no has consequences that weigh heavy on the heart and soul.

Saying yes to something unimportant can lead to a minor inconvenience with minimal regret — no big deal.

Like agreeing to attend a social gathering you’re not interested in, only to find yourself trapped in small talk for hours. Or volunteering to help a colleague with a project when you already have a full plate.

These are the times when a simple no could have saved time and energy.

But what happens when the stakes are higher? The consequences can be life-altering when you say yes when you should have said no.

A passionate young artist facing pressure from family to pursue a more “stable” career in finance finds herself trapped in a job she hates, haunted by the art she never created.

A young couple, not quite ready for marriage, find themselves pressured by family and friends to push toward a premature commitment. They say yes to an engagement even though their gut tells them to wait.

After working for years in the shadows, the founder of an exciting new business finally captures the attention of prominent investors. A successful firm extends an offer filled with promises and potential. Yet this deal comes with strings attached, a bargain that would mean surrendering the very soul of his dream. His partners, who haven’t taken the same risks, sense the allure of success and urge him to take the gamble. His choice will either affirm his vision or transform it into something unrecognizable. It’s not merely a business decision, it’s a war for the integrity of his dream.

Whenever I say yes to someone because I’m being negatively pressured rather than following my gut, I always regret it. That regret is a stinging reminder that our instinct is a guide we should not ignore.

Be cautious if someone tries to manipulate you into a decision that serves their interests, whether by applying pressure and fear or condescendingly telling you that you’re incapable of accomplishing your dream. Their tactics may be part of a larger scheme to make you feel that you must do what they want or lose everything.

As a people pleaser, disappointing others is very uncomfortable, but don’t let their disappointment divert you from your destiny.

The act of saying no is more than a refusal; it’s a powerful assertion of control that affects our brain and decision-making processes. By saying no, we rewire our brain’s response to choices, enhancing our ability to think and act in alignment with our values. This simple action reinforces self-respect and helps us prioritize our needs, leading to a healthier mental state.

When you say no, you’re setting boundaries. Setting boundaries is an essential part of a healthy emotional state. Learning to say no is more than a personal stance, it’s a skill that lays the groundwork for better mental health and a more authentic life.

If you continually say yes, even to your detriment, you risk being perceived as a pushover. Although I’ve never cared all that much for what others think of me following my dreams, failing to stand up for yourself may lead you down a path that doesn’t align with your desires or values but instead follows the expectations of others.

It’s a life shaped by external influences rather than personal choice.

The truth is saying no doesn’t necessarily mean letting someone down. It means standing up for what’s right for you. It means recognizing the value of your path, dreams and well-being. It means not sacrificing yourself at the altar of others’ expectations.

The next time you’re faced with a decision, big or small, listen to that inner voice. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

The right yes can open doors, but the wrong yes can close them. Choose wisely, for the choices we make, in the end, shape the life we live.

Toby Moore is a columnist, the star of Emmy-nominated “A Separate Peace,” and the CEO of Cubestream Inc.

Headshot of a female named Pat Larsen

Body, Mind & Spirit Connections: Guy in the kitchen

In Health & Wellness, Health & Wellness - Greenville, The Greenville Pioneer
July 27, 2023
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By Pat Larsen

For Capital Region Independent Media

Headshot of a female named Pat Larsen
Pat Larsen

I came from a large family of female cooks starting with my grandma, mom and aunties, who whipped up magic in the kitchen every day back in the 1950s.

From the simplest of stews made with vegetables and beef bones to Sunday’s pot of sauce and meatballs, we ate like kings, or at least thought we did. Food was life and life was made up of the LOVE that came from the pots and pans on the gas stove in the tiny kitchen back in Brooklyn.

No better building blocks than these for creating an education for future cooks and my sisters and I took full advantage of the days when we were invited to participate in learning how it was all done.

As a matter of fact, I really never thought of myself as a cook. It’s just what was done. As each new day blended into a new season and then a holiday before a year ended, the act of preparing food was as natural as keeping the house tidy and putting a load of laundry on the line to dry.

How did I know each of these experiences would eventually add up to  the woman I am now and give me a true sense of purpose for being a part of the family dynamic?

There’s a light-hearted tale often retold in my household that my husband gained 50 pounds the first year we were married due to my cooking. Well, not exactly in relation to my cooking but in fact due to the amount of food I cooked for each meal for the two of us. 

Apparently, the proportions of food prepared were different for the 12 that sat at my parents’ table. How was I supposed to know that math was involved in creating a smaller version of a chicken dish? Two roasters is what I knew to prepare and so I did. Of course, my husband was being kind and indulged me by eating one bird by himself so as not to insult my level of expertise. Geez, the money we could’ve saved back then.

Here’s where things got interesting. Apparently, other households, i.e, his family of six, didn’t make a crazy amount of food and once the large family plate hit the dining room table it was every man, woman and child for themselves until the plates were clean. If you were late to dinner, apparently Saltines would have to suffice if you could sneak them out of the kitchen before getting caught. Thank goodness lateness wasn’t a federal crime. 

Fast forward to years later into my marriage, I recalled my husband taking an interest in cooking. My response was often, “Run along, I got this.” No one in my family let the men cook. There were just too many qualified ladies already taking that job and doing it amazingly well.

Let’s see if I can recall the exact order it always went in.

Sunday was sauce and pasta day. Monday involved chicken soup; Tuesday was a delicacy, often an organ meat like tripe; Wednesday we sat down to pasta and beans. I forget Thursdays, but Fridays whether it was Lent or not was fish fry from the fresh catch. Saturday was almost always freshly made pizza. And there you have it — my life and times with food growing up.

Here we were in the mid ‘90s and my husband inquired of me, gently approaching the possibility and oh so respectfully requesting that he make dinner.

When I got up off of the floor, I responded pretty directly with, “What do you want to cook?” (the implication being, “have I failed you?”, “did I miss making your favorite on your birthday?”). Neither was the case.

He had begun watching a cooking show on PBS and saw men cooking up some pretty interesting things that he wanted to try. 

CUE DRUM ROLL HERE… “What do you want to make,” I replied.

Are you sitting down? I don’t want to be responsible for any shocking results here. 

He wanted to try making “pad Thai” for dinner for us.

CUE WIDE EYED STUNNED SILENCE from me…

What else could I say? “No” was not on the list of choices that I was reading in his face. More like step aside honey, there’s a new chief cook and bottle washer in town.

That was the beginning of what is now what we lovingly call “Guy in the Kitchen.” Breaking through stereotype barriers and serving up international cuisine became his specialties. He’s great at it.

He even shops for stuff like lemongrass and banana leaves to wrap his pork specialties in. (My grandma must be rolling…with laughter I bet!).

Who knew this was even a possibility. Give a guy a wooden spoon and let him loose and see what happens in your kitchen.

P.S. Chris’s middle name happens to be GUY hence the title of the column.

He loves having me be his food stylist for his beautifully crafted meals that we showcase on social media. I’m the envy of all 80 on my friends list. 

Check his work out on my Facebook page under Pat Larsen. I give him full credit.

Pat and Chef Chris live in Greene County, NY, with their two adoring pups. Pat teaches fitness classes and wellness programs for Baby Boomers and seniors. Contact Pat at pelarsen5@aol.com or by phone or text at 518-275-8686. Bon appétit.

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