By Pat Larsen
For Capital Region Independent Media
No one likes roadblocks, detour signs, traffic slowdowns, or being told that we aren’t able to move forward due to our own actions or, worse yet, reactions to situations. Especially not me.
However, after I’ve gotten over myself and blanketed the air with a few words that I’d dare not put in print or say in front of anyone, I eventually begin focusing on the deeper messages that my own resistance might be bringing to the forefront.
Let’s start with the issue at hand. Not the specifics but rather the opinion of those who were a witness to the issues and their offering of a subsequent opinion. Their opinion.
This is not to say that those who choose to express themselves to me are correct in their assessment. Maybe they are. Maybe they’re not looking at the whole picture when they choose to share their thoughts.
What comes next is this. ME, taking the time to look in the mirror directly at myself and asking the question. The hard ones whereby I have to conclude that the inner resistance I’m feeling just might contain a bit of truth within OR that it just doesn’t. My own ego tends to get in the way. A digging in of my heels and my defiant nature rising from the depths proclaiming that I know better.
Maybe, just maybe, there is more to learn.
Resistance is pretty sneaky like that.
So, what might some of those messages be within our own steadfast refusals to look at suggestions?
Starting with life and the ever-changing situations that present themselves as we age, I find that there’s the “way” I use to resolve a problem that always seemed to work. Or did it work?
If my way solved the issue then why does it still continue to come up over and over.
Stubbornly yet subtly yielding, I agreed to see the opinions being offered and a possible way to solve my problem once and for all.
I know none of this is making sense to anyone but me.
Maybe you get it. In the complexity of this world with never-ending options available to move forward from a problem, making a decision from a different direction is not something that I am finding so appealing as I get older and wiser.
So, to answer the question that I posed…”what are the messages that resistance brings?”, let’s begin with slowing down a bit, not immediately rushing into a previous solution to fix the problem with an old set of worn out ideas.
Maybe a fresh set of eyes can see the issues at hand from a whole different direction and maybe another way might actually work better.
OR…might this fresh set of eyes be getting it entirely wrong and our experience and knowledge has stood the test of time and will again be the answers we seek?
It’s important to think this aspect through from all sides.
I’ve definitely learned to take a deep breath and to just be in gratitude for the opinions and to say so. Then, apply my problem, piece by piece to my old pattern of resolution, and add the newer suggestion and trust my instincts to decide what parts to apply.
Just maybe, we old dogs can learn some new tricks. If the reverse is true, then maybe it then becomes a teaching moment for us to share.
Pat Larsen is a fitness instructor at The Shamrock House in East Durham, Monday and Thursday mornings weekly. Please call 518 275-8686 for details. As a certified hypnotherapist, Pat serves Greene and Albany counties, providing services to seniors and Baby Boomers seeking to resolve issues regarding aging gracefully. Special programs are offered on this topic often. Please call for dates and times.