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Whittling Away: Mirrors don’t lie


By Dick Brooks

For Capital Region Independent Media 

Headshot of a man named Dick Brooks.

I was passing a full length mirror the other day and made the mistake of looking at it.

Lengthwise, I fit just fine, it just wasn’t wide enough. Never having known a mirror that lied, I think it’s time to shed a few pounds.

I’ve been considering it for some time now, there are hints and signs that have helped me come to this conclusion. Since the majority of mature Americans are now judged to be overweight, maybe sharing some of my personal observations with you will help some others to resolve to become losers, too.

I’ve noticed that my legs are getting longer — at least it has become harder to reach my feet. In fact, now that I think about it, it’s been a while since I’ve seen my feet.

The number of X’s on the size tags in my shirts is starting to rival the marque of an adult movie theater. I found one of my T-shirts folded and stored in with the tablecloths.

I can now use my belt to measure my height. I no longer have a sideways. My double chin has had children of its own. Actually, it’s not quite that bad, but it is headed in that direction, so I figure I better start now or it may become reality.

I’m really not in bad shape. In fact, round is a very nice shape but I’d like to try for oblong at least. It means getting up earlier and making time for some planned exercise. The only problem I foresee is that my favorite early morning exercise is making breakfast. That could be a conflict of interest.

I think I’ll hit the library and read up on some of the more popular diets. I’ve been on the Dr. Atkins Diet before and liked it, even though the idea of losing weight by eating a whole cow at a sitting while passing up a slice of bread and a helping of beans never quite seemed logical to me.

At the very least, I’ll keep myself entertained for weeks. Have you noticed how many books on diets and proper nutrition are in the library? The only section that’s bigger is the cookbook section. Did you know there are more cookbooks found in the average American home that any other type of book? Maybe I’ve discovered a correlation here between obesity and literacy.  Nah!

Being a person of reasonable intelligence, I think I’ll gather my support group around me, start moving more and eating less and in a few weeks, I’m sure I’ll start getting positive results.

If I don’t, I think I’ll just hang that full-length mirror, the one that started all this, sideways and stand farther back. That should also solve the problem.

Thought for the week — “It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.” — Bridgitte Bardot

Until next week, may you and yours be happy and well.

Dick Brooks can be reached at

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